After very long, I finally felt your pain after I kept reading your past entries. I was heartless before, which is why I didn't knew you were in pain. I let the love of my life suffer 3 years when I go out trying to date other girls. What the hell was I thinking back then. You didn't open your eyes big enough to see she was by your side the whole time? You didn't open your heart big enough to know we belong together. What the fuck is the matter with you? One of my own rules was never to hurt a lady physically. But I didn't knew I could hurt them mentally.
And if you really were to come back to me, then I swear I am very lucky. For not only has HE given me the second chance, but so did you. I really can't believe I was a beast. I'm so angry at myself right now. I'm crying right now because i've hurt you too much. I don't want to hurt you ever again. Apologies won't do anything much because these are just words that express. I wish I can do something for you. All the guilty conscience has come. Even when I know I made her happy, I know it's never enough. Because what I did to her was monstrous. I am a monster. Tell me that it's enough and I will accept it. But I will never think it is enough.
I do wanna be my boyfriend. And hopefully when things go well, I want to be your husband. You really are my princess. I miss you so much too. And most importantly, I do love you. I never want to hurt you anymore. I never want to make you feel alone anymore. I don't want to make you miss me because I am not yours but I do want to make you miss me because I am yours. My princess. My number 1. My Beyonce. My.. Nur Atiqah. I will love you till the afterlife. I will promise you anything.
I'd buy you the star in space to prove that I really do love you. I'll cross the world just to see your beautiful eyes again. I'll fight off anyone or anything that tries to tear us apart. Because nobody will ever tear us apart again. I'm very sorry I did all those to you. I love you. I love my Nur Atiqah Binte Nordin Bin Mohd Noh. =)
And that, my whoever is reading. Is a pure post that really came from my heart.
