-6:20 AM:))

Im just gonna say, SCREW U SCHMUCK! that's all.

-6:42 AM:))

I feel HORRIBLE. After what I did? I can never forgive myself, mama can never forgive me. But, I can say I'm sorry. To mama, to papa, to Atiqah, to kakak, to abg, to Syahirah(sec 3 next year), to Zaiba, to Sheera, to you who I have done wrong, and most importantly to HE WHO MADE US ALL. I really don't know what is happening. I really don't know what will happen. THATS RIGHT LADIES, I THINK IM OFFICIALLY WHAT YOU CALL A JERK. So don't bother trying to even know me. Cos' after u do, I might have the feeling u girls would sleep in tears. I AM SORRY TO ALL. I WONT ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. I wish I was the old me. I wish I can get help. My life?, total barstard. I love my life. Just that I dont love why I'm being this way. I'll say things about myself which you ALL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT,

1. JERK
2. NASTY
3. ASSOLE
4. SELFISH
5. JACKASS
6. FCUKTARD
7. BULL-SHIT
8. DISGUSTING

Ouh, and a liar. People always lie. But I think I lie the most.

I give you guys the right to judge me. Tagboard is there. Enjoy. That marks the end of today's post thought by, typed by and edited by me. Good night

Md Ashraf Khan

-8:40 PM:))

Yesterday I did boxing with my heavy ball. whole 1 hour I did. every 10 minutes I punch the damn ball, 1 minute rest. Thats the real timing in real fights. So I punched and punched and punched, the hook suddenly broke, the leather to put on the hook, tore. What the hell! I must be a good fighter eh. huahuahua. So, SYAHIRAH might buy me a new one because she havent got anything for my birthday. hahahahah. Thank you! The point is, not I have to use the lighter ball! Which is ok la, makes my hands go faster. Can la. And, I finally know how to use the hand wrap. The way I've been wrapping was wrong all the while. haha. went to everlast website. Now I will continue to go to the website till I can memorise how to use it. Here are a couple of the pictures I took after the incident happened.

So, went shopping yesterday. Dumb sheera paitau me. Bought 3 things which cost $185. A sweater with no zip, a cool t-shirt and a perfume. All alone. =.= lame man go shopping alone. Then, wanted to buy Solvus Titus Shades, $168. But 50% discount so $84. But exceeded the dumb day limit to use my nets. Like WHAT THE SCHMUCK! So thought of going to buy today, using daddy's cash. Can also buy shoes. ahahaha. But! tak jadi, because daddy sae no hurry. So other day, maybe next week I will go and buy. Now, following abang's advice on gaining weight. SLEEP AFTER YOU EAT. Thats what I'm doign exactly. ahahah. well, Grand mama and grand daddy is here. Got to go sucka.

With respect,

Md Ashraf Khan

-5:49 AM:))

Today, went to watch Max Payne at the cinema. Was suppose to 'accidentally' bump into her. But didn't happen. Why? I don't know. Max Payne is a good show people. It's a little like The Covenant. But this is about cops. Good day today. But that fucking guy in black green, totally a fucking retard. Nak kerek then twink twice ah faggot! Stupid shit. Well, thats it for today la. But because today didn't 'accidentally' bump into her, lets just hope for some other time. Good day.

-4:41 AM:))

Today, thought of going to the jail with my dad, brother and aunt. To visit my uncle. But! my uncle slenger! he go ask for extra 10 minutes instead of extra 1 person to visit him!!! ARGH! now must wait for November.! Damn! So unlucky! Been a long time since I've seen him! And my other uncle who owns a house in Spain. Has his own boutique in London. Ask my father to live with him for awhile. He don't want. Grr! Already don't allow boxing! Now don't allow to live with him! As for boxing, I will sweet talk my dad into joining the boxing school. But sadly, I will have to not participate in matches and tournaments and stuff! And one of my dreams is to fight for Singapore in the OLYMPICS!! Wah! like siak ah! Bodo sia! everday I think about how I have to leave my dream, is like leaving my house with nothing on sia!!! Like a man already married but still cannot have sex! Like a stupid fat boy craving his big fat ass just for a piece of cake! IF I CAN'T BE IN BOXING, IS LIKE I HAVE NO POINT LIVING ON EARTH YOU KNOW! DDDAAAAAANNNNNGGGGGG MAN!


STOP! DROP! SHUT IT DOWN OVER THE TOP! OUUUHHH!! NOOO!!!! THATS HOW MD ASHRAF ROLL!!!!

-7:57 AM:))

Fuck man! my dream to be a boxer has gone down the stupid drain sia! Not cos of my breathing difficulty. Cos my father said he wont allow me to join boxing. Its only ok as an exercise. Not as a part time boxer who goes for tournaments and all. SHIT MAN! Whats the point of doing something without your parents blessings. Mama allowed me to join. At least I think she did. But what the hell la! Not happy sia now! I want to sweet talk my father ah. I dont care ah. FCUK IT man. I buy stuffs for my own practice in boxing at home. Now all wasted. What the hell. I dont care. I will do whatever it takes to get his blessings. And I mean WHATEVERRR. Get it? Now I not happy. Feel like want to punch my double end bag, but my maid is sleeping. Grr. Dear Almighty, please change his mind into allowing me to join the boxing school. Because I have my FULL HEART into boxing man. Second is a police officer because thats what her mom wants her husband to be. -.-' If everything goes right la between me and her. Well, for the record in holiday history. I will not be going out tmrw as I will be working out at home. =D But if I did go out, most probably to Caleb's house because he has the big heavy bag. Aite thats it fer today peeps. Good night.

WOO!!!!! Today, I just bought a brand new pair of gloves, hand strap, and a double end speed bag. All Adidas. Power per. And it all cost $162 in total. Worth ah. But I just remembered that when i was on the way home, I forgot to buy a mouth-guard.-.-' There goes 1/5 of my duit rayer. ahahahha. But it rocks man! When I wear the gloves, then punch the Adidas double end bag, feels so ringan! But I continue to punch. This thing rocks big time. So now I have both double end heavy bag and a speed bag. YAY! I hope this breathing difficulty wont let me not achieve my dream. And wow, after working out awhile, damn tired seii! AND AND!!!, one of Syahirah's best friend, said my body hot! woo!!! ( you cant fuck with this. 100 celcius.) hahahha. Now, maybe just a week or two till I join that only boxing school in Singapore. Yay! Would show you all the picture but my phone is crazy. Says low in memory. Well fuck it la. Later I ask abang. WOOT!! huahuahua. ok enjoy reading ya'll. Ouh, and happy birthdae Cik Noi.!

-8:26 AM:))

Today, I went to the doctor. While waiting, I had lotsa thoughts about her. Maybe I should leave it be since her shoutout has something to do with another guy. And honestly, when I read that. It made me sad. Totally sad that I seriously was feeling weak for awhile. Tons of things I thought about. Gaining weight. Why I do sins. Why I dont do good. Why I didnt even become good. People says I've change since my mother passed. Well maybe some things did. But a few others didnt. Why? Is it because of anger? But thats an issue I have which no one wants to help, except for myself, this blog and my boxing ball which hurts my hand thus having slight cuts which bleeds. See, didnt I say I have lots which I had thought about. So when I met the doctor, he said to refer me to a hospital for my breathing difficulty. Well this suck. Because I hope my dream to be a boxer wont just burn like that. And when I promise HIM I will try controlling, felt like a broken promise. Cos HE will grant what I want, and I will disobey what HE wants. I have to go for scans, xrays and stuff. Bullshit? Totally. What to do what to do. Now I'm just lying on my brother's bed, waiting for him to get home maybe. Now, we (mostly I) will just have to wait and see what time has in store for me. I hope its good. Well. Good Night people. =/

-2:10 PM:))

Todae, I feel weak. For the past few weeks, I've been feeling weak. Why? Is it because I miss the presence of someone? Or is it just me? Well, like I said, I've been having trouble breathing. Going to the doctor soon to see what other bullshit he will say and what shits I have to take. Now, things dont feel the same. If i have to let it go, then perhaps I should. Maybe she wants it that way? I dont know. Lets just prepare for the worst. Im always prepared for the good. I tried hard, but I guess i gotta try harder. If you are reading this, and I really mean YOU, this has been the song I want you to listen... Ok.

Yes Syahirah, thank you for doing this blog for me. Greatly appreciated... All those credits goes to you. And I think everyone knows that cos u are the only so called 'friend' in my blog. I baru start wad! What do you expect? Some people still don't know I have a blog. So YOU ARE LUCKY to be the ferst to know. Understand? Good. -- This goes to SYAHIRAH of PASIR RIS CREST SECONDARY 2 going SECONDARY 3 next year. ( long way to go! buahahaha) only. Later if any of you help with this dumb blog thing that I still dont know wad other things I can do, I post la the thank you's and stuff kae. I wont put the picture stuff and all just yet cos i dont know. The tag board all later later la. Lagu I might put todae. OK? Depends la if my lagu have or not.

As for the rest of you who still dont know I have a blog, well, when u know u can read la. But its been kinda hard to breathe lately. Ive been gasping for air for this past few weeks. And im doing it now as im typing. Im going to the doctor tomorrow morning. Then go out and lepak. ( power per, sakit bole lepak..ahah) Most probably with Ari at Abg's house cos thats the one place we like to hang out. Cos of games la then wad. We have NOTHING to do now that school is out ok.

Now, she doesnt know I have a blog also. That's not the point. The point is, im the meat in the beautiful sandwich. ( for you dumb people who dont know the meaning, then seriously u bodo. the meaning is im stuck in between 2 pretty ladies whom I THINK they BOTH still LOVE me.) Wahhh, love crisis man. I wonder what I must do. See, when im with her, I feel good. But when im with her, I feel good also. Both knows i have anger issues. But I dont know whether both can tahan or not. See thats the problem. Another problem is, both will sanggop to tahan cos of love. I need cupid's help. This is no ordinary cupid. This cupid is my MAMA. Mama must help me kae ma, should I go with one? The other? Or leave both so its fair? Die man. I was out of hand. I thought I had it in but it slipped right thru my hands. DAMN.

-1:21 AM:))

Okay so this is the very first time I'm doing this shit. Never done it before. Not once. I still don't understand most crap... So I'm going to spend half of today to discover things about this blogging shit (I think this is the part you guys should laugh) . Some say blogging helps release anger and stuff. Release all your hidden emotions secretly except that some people will know cos u typed it out and so obviuosly others will read la. Now i malu la becos i baru buat and when people come and read they will say kental things about me. And one fo the point why i dont like to do blog is because people don't have the guts to say just who the fuck they are when they nak maki other people. so they just put their names as anonymous la or wad other fucker stuff... Now thats real shit, blaze the feelin. So guys. If any of you don't have what it takes to say ur dumb name, then don't try funny shit like bad-mouthing me or others aite? ok guess this is it. Im out. Dont stop playa. Cos when u stop, you fail.

Labels: This is NEW SHIT. Woo. -.-'